The monitors spoke and brightened the room,
his breathing was laboured and fast.
I wanted to cry but no tears would fall,
my hopes for his future had past.
My foot didn’t tap; my hands were not wrung
my eyes wouldn’t study his face.
His body lay still and mine mimicked his,
I longed not to be in this place.

The doctors poured in and spoke over my head,
they whispered in hushed knowing tones.
Though I was still I was screaming inside
but all that came out was a moan.
The tools that they used; the ultrasound wand,
confirmed what they already knew.
My son was born with holes in his heart,
How many? They hadn’t a clue.

One by one they left me alone
done with their medical blows.
The shaking began, would I be sick?
I slowly redressed him in clothes.
I phoned his dear dad to give him the news,
the axe that I swung cut him deep,
I chopped up our life and hung up the phone,
Death was so close, would he reap?

We headed on home to a future unknown
Milestones newly defined
Smiles and firsts and all those sweet steps
were just not enough without time.
To live in the present, within a moment
a second, a minute, an hour
That is the gift that God gave to me
Loves miraculous power.

 

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